Jaisalmer to Dehli (Part 3)

We went on a tour of Jaisalmer, but it was nothing special. We did how ever see the most epic sun set ever on top of the fort as the sun sank into the deep desert. The train to Delhi was horrible as the guy bellow me had flatulence and it is not rude to fart in public here, so I had to breath his colon in for 19 hours on top bunk.

Dehli is not as painful the third time around; I think the aggro we got in Pushkar and Jaipor, was so immense that this seems relaxed in comparison. We are here for 5 days, but we are going on a day trip to Agra (Taj Mahal) for one of those; it makes sense not to stay as apparently Agra is horrible, and Dehli is not that far away.

We booked a cheap hotel (Vishal) this time as we are staying a while; not in the Rack International as usual… no power; paint hanging off the walls and cum stained blankets, so we checked out the next day and booked into Vivec, which is highly rated… after some trouble finding a room which was not disgusting, we settled on a good room and then happily dumped our bags and settled in (la-la-la). We soon realised our mistake and realised what the managers surprised expression was about: the fucking noise man! We where hearing a room being repaired above us all day; at the end of the day we went to investigate, only to find the kitchen is directly above us. The noise was the chiefs banging out doe on a metal tool cupboard. We have a word with the manager, who sends us off to look at some other rooms; none of which are any good what so ever.

They seem to think it is okay for two men to sleep together and have no idea why we become upset when they want us to share a bed. I don’t have an issue with two men sharing a bed if they so choose, but I do not want to be forced into sharing a bed with one. I did not want to discuss this issue before, as it is embarrassing, but have to after this; I guess I have never read about this issue because guys don’t want to admit to sharing beds. We always phone ahead to make sure we have two separate beds and “reserve” a room, but the “yes sir, no problem” BS they do over always leads to conflict, as it is always a problem when you get there (I have slept on floors and mattresses a few times now, because of it), especially when the “reserved” room never existed or was booked out: like in this case with Vivec, where we picked a room a day before, only to find we “misunderstood” and did not reserve the room as they said; we just spent an hour looking at rooms for shits and giggles. Anyway, we have a word with the manager about the noise and then he makes us wait for an hour in the lobby, while he is twiddling his thumbs, not knowing what to do. As I said before two bed rooms are non-standard here and to ask to be switched to a room specifically with a bed that can part in two, is a big deal as they have no idea what rooms can do that. After waiting patiently we ask what is happening, then he sends us on a tour of the hotels single bed rooms, but we discover a few doubles, all of which are wrong in some way or another (paint smells, filthy etc). He makes us wait some more and does not vocalise what is going on, he even ignores us. The owner turns up and tells us we are the first people to complain about the noise in ten years, and that the kitchen staff will bang else where, which they do and we have on recording of (still noisy), but he also goes absolutely mental at us for complaining and tries to kick us out; he only decided not to as we mentioned the deposit we paid and the refund he would have to give us (the greedy SOB), so we where stuck here for two days because he is a greedy and without empathy (as I have mentioned before), which is criminal.

We have been using the Metro to get around town instead of the F’ing rickshaws, and I have to say that it is fantastically modern! I was very surprised to hear an English voice (computer) over the tanoi that I could understand as well, which has been an issue at the train stations here. I am from Ilford so have no issue with Asian accents, but they simply make no effort; it is almost like English announcements are made simply because it is required, not to provide you any information (BTW one guy asked us to talk in English when we where asking something, which was fucking hilarious, especially as I have answered phones professionally and obviously have perfect Eng).

We walked into a main station for the first time and observed something very, very strange: queues! Straight lines of people waiting like they where actually interested in their fellow man, and that they cared about fairness! I was so very impressed and was ready to take it all back! But we discovered the reason why: full time queue technicians! Muhahahah, they have to employ eight or so people per platform to get people to queue, but it still all goes to hell when you enter the train, it is far, far worse than the London underground. I had a flaccid penis in my asshole for three whole minutes and could not do a thing except moan ineffectively out loud (it felt like an hour as I could feel every nuance of it), and Tom had a short women’s sweaty armpit pressed against his newly pressed linen shirt, and as he put it “I had to feel her stench on my body”. It is the lack of empathy that gets me the most.

We found a Costa coffee in Conough Place, which means: SOYA LATTE wohoo, not that anyone reading this gives a shit, but it is a big deal for a soya starved vegan dude. We also found Marmite, which until I left England, I hadn’t realised was essential for travelling. The security (yes plain cloth ones too) and Police all carry shotguns in the shopping centre, which is stupid and very unnerving considering the shot pattern and how they hold them. I have played with shotguns before, so know very well how dangerous they are: the people who are handling them irresponsibly.

The fake tourist info guys are still really annoying, but we just take the piss out of them and they eventually realise it and go away. We met a few genuinely nice local people here, which was refreshing. I was waiting for the “punch line” in each conversation though i.e. the scam, but it never came. Those few people redeemed India a bit in my mind. Oh yes, one more random thing: I watched in amazement as an ambulance with sirens blazing was stuck in traffic, was being blocked and was being aggressively overtook with my mouth open, followed by hysterical laughter, because if you don’t laugh then you cry.

Agra, some more Dehli and Calkuta blogs are yet to come, then on to Thailand, wohoooo.


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