Ko Samui – Lami to Chaweng Beach

The last two days we spent in Hat Lamai where relatively uneventful: I was approached by a Lady boy PR, who wanted us to go into a bar; she/he was actually pretty nice about it and did not harass us as badly as the girly-girls; maybe it is that she/he had no charm over me as the others do, so left me be when my involuntary bewitched-by-beauty-smile never appeared, but I still flashed a smile and was nice though. The girls started to recognise us and tease us a bit more than everyone else which was all in good fun, some even started shouting as usual “come, come”, but with the backing vocals mimicking our own inner monologues of “help, help”, which was very funny. One of them spanked my ass as we where walking by them:I tried to be upset/insulted, but my smile betrayed me and they all laughed and applauded the woman who degraded me (hahaha gender role reversal).

The Dogs did turn out to be an issue: they where scaring the crap out of us every night, but we go used to it. One of them came at us, but I thought fast and dazzled him with my wind up torch (thanks Col), after that he was having second thoughts, but a group of other dogs had gathered around, emboldened by him. We walked away at a normal pace as to not encourage further forays at us, and they left us alone. My heart was going mental and I had a massive adrenaline rush; luckily we are both calm guys and did not panic and run.

The fast heart thing may have been partially down to the weird red bull drinks they have here and I am addicted too. I have been trying a new weird red bull everyday; they all kind of taste like cough syrup mixed with Calpol (a children’s cough syrup). Tom had one called Tune Up and woke up in the middle of the night with a crazy heart beat; I of course immediately purchased that one to try it out, hehe.

We have been drinking quite heavily since getting here. Two months in India made it hard to drink, due to dry states (Rajisthan) and dry holy towns, plus most of the booze in India is bootlegged. Tiger which is a Singapore beer, made us sick every time we had it, but out of India it is very nice; even the Indian beers had vastly different tastes from bar to bar, even among the same brands, and also made us feel sick to varying degrees. I learnt the glycerine removal trick, which helped though. Over here the alcohol does not make us feel sick, even Chang which is supposed to be awful tastes good compared to what I am used to.

Our flat in Hat Lamai had a weird Invaders-esk flying saucer sound in the backyard (jungle and hills), which is a reflection of how bad the mosquitoes are here. Luckily we have managed to acquire Deet at 95% which was nowhere to be found in… you guessed right India.

This next paragraph has forced me to change my rating on this blog to Adult. Someone had been poo-ing in our toilet in lami when we where out! One time there was an un-flushed one, which we thought might have been regurgitated by the piping; but then on another occasion we found a dry stain on the toilet seat, which was disgusting. Two months in India has desensitised me to this a little (we make allot of two months ago comments), but it is a huge violation. My theory is that the cleaner / caretaker has a faecal fetish and wants to defecate on Tom’s chest or maybe mine, but he/she cannot so he/she goes for the next best thing, which is our toilet. Tom reckons the cleaner just hates us because our room is a mess, and is getting revenge.

We scouted out Chaweng Beach on our last day in Lamai to make sure it is okay; it has barely any red light district from what I have seen and looks to be a more chilled place, although that will change at peak season. We are really going to slum it there for a month with a hotel costing us 8k baht, that 160 pounds between two people (5.33 a day or 2.66 Per person, per day):

It looks horrible doesn’t it MUAHAHHAHAHA. The room is huge; it has two massive beds; we have a balcony; we have a DVD player, plus big TV etc, etc. They were asking for 10k initially but we used the skills acquired through Indian barter to get them down. The pricing system they have here is very strange:

800b = One Night

5000b= One Week

10,000 = One Month (8K for us though)

We are going to keep this place a secret for ourselves (sorry Google). I reckon it would be a great place to escape to when I am having a nervous breakdown at work next year. We found one other place at 5k, with no bartering but it was pretty grubby, Google can have that one: City Hotel on the main road. We are really going to be at home in the new place 🙂 we are getting a rice cooker / steamer and kettle immediately and we are playing with the idea of a microwave, but that is a step too far I think.  When we moved in they gave us access to the hotel kitchen for free, so we can cook whatever we want, plus we have free coffee and a bar we can serve our selves from.

Getting decent food to eat should not be too hard as 7/11 has taken over the island; there is one of these shops every 10 meters or something silly. They give you this weird Pokémon sticker money as small change to force you back as well.

They have an awesome beach here, and, and, AND they have a Falafel Place! Which sells vegetarian food. I think I am going to love it here, ooh, ohh they have Starbucks too.  I am not particularly motivated to do anything creative, but I will be using the time to scribble some stuff down.

There is an Old School power lifters gym down the road from us, but I think I am just going to cycle the island every other day (50.3 km), that also makes for some very good fun on a Motorbike. There is a very good selection of bikes here: I saw a Busa, but think I will try and get a BMW GS.  I found out why there are so many big gora here: steroids! I went looking for protein and was presented a catalogue with Dianabol to HGH, which explain why there is a disproportionate amount of big guys here.

We have been chilling to the max since getting here; we even have a cinema down the road to go to.  I think I am going to enjoy a month of relaxation before we move onto Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia, but as I mentioned before I am itching to see new things; hopefully exploring the island on the MB and MTB will be enough.

I am not sure how much I will have to say now we are in one place, so I may not be blogging so much.




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